Geek Habitat

I’m convinced that becoming parents makes you the darling of every marketing wonk in the world. You’re suddenly willing to entertain the prospect of buying things that you never, ever would have given a second thought before… either because it’s “for the baby” or because it will “make the pregnancy more bearable.” Within a week of getting our BFP (”Big Fat Positive”, eg. a positive pregnancy test), I blew over $100 of Amazon gift certificates on Dr. Seuss and other childrens’ books I remember from my own childhood so we’d have stuff to read to sprout in utero once his/her ears are more fully developed. I’ve already splurged on a couple pairs of maternity pants — one of which is a tad tight after its first washing (bad sizing, unless I’m carrying my child in my THIGHS), the other which will fit me well in, oh, two more months? I have a Bella Band so I can wear my two pairs of normal jeans that still fit comfortably, albeit unzipped, out in public without flashing anyone. And after hearing sprout’s heartbeat but neglecting to bring an audio recorder, we’ve splurged and rented ($32/month and we only need it one month) a fetal doppler from BabyBeat.com to pick up the baby’s heartbeat and record it to our computer. {Mental Note: “babybeat.com” is probably a URL you’d need a tagline under for all advertising, else it conjures up the wrong image!}

I figure we’re still a few months away from getting sucked into the baby vortex big time. Once we know if sprout’s a girl or a boy, all bets are off and suddenly everything is going to look like a potential purchase item. That said, financial reality has a way of keeping you honest.

In other news, this story is probably good reason to not let anyone rent one of those baby/stork signs folks put up in their front yard when a baby’s born. Kind of like a neon sign saying, “Freaks & criminals! Newborn baby girl/boy inside!” Grrr… We’ve already resigned ourselves to the fact that worrying about your child starts long before your wee one is born, and doesn’t ever end. (Just ask our folks!)