Geek Habitat

(Well, sort of …)

I’ve opened up WordPress and/or a photo editor repeatedly since my last entry, but that’s about as far as any progress has been made towards sharing new content. I’ve had some terrific entry titles floating around my cranium, but of course no time to pen entries to correspond with them:

Prodigious Poo –

Because, really, are you a parent until you obsess about (and, worse, assume others would be similarly interested in) the consistency, frequency, odoriferous qualities, etc. of your little one’s poop?

What Not to Do, Weeks One & Two –

Subtitled, “Parenting decisions that begin, “How many American Academy of Pediatrics rules do we want to break by doing X?” Hot topics include: letting baby sleep on her tummy, if she’s sleeping on your chest; letting baby co-sleep in your bed (worse, doing so accidentally because it’s 3 AM and the line between nursing in bed and sleeping is rather fine at that hour if she’s been cluster feeding since 11 PM!); etc.

I’m Sorry, Baby! –

The disappointing and frustrating number of times you will find yourself apologizing to your little one for all manner of insults, real or imagined, large or small. “I’m sorry I just sneezed…/ …startled you/ …gave you a bath and made you so upset in so doing that you are now hyperventilating and crying at the top of your lungs… / let your head flop because you are already arching your back and turning your head, so if I guess wrong, I’m applying counter-force in the wrong direction and you sneak a head jerk in that I wasn’t anticipating… / etc.

Laugher’s the Best Medicine –

It’s a good thing a newborn doesn’t yet have a firm grasp of her place in the universe, or the English language and manners, because it’s hilarious and at the same time a little sad just how often you find yourself laughing at your newborn. (Oh, please, who doesn’t laugh at newborn farts? You either have to laugh or invest in a gas mask!) Hiccups are another laugh-inducer which carry guilt, since you know your little one’s getting pretty ticked off by having hiccups for the fifth time today… especially when her hiccuping spells can last upwards of a half hour! But… hicCUP… they’re so damn-HICCUP- cute!

What Do You Mean, That’s What Happens? –

All the things no one bothers to tell you as a woman until after you’ve given birth. You’re sore in an odd location? That’s because your baby’s head was yanked out of there… we don’t care that you’re referring to your armpit/left nostril/right knee — if it hurts, baby caused it! Oh, and if you’re breastfeeding, be careful where you aim the big guns… I’m just sayin’!